Loneliness is an exceptionally painful feeling – and it’s even worse if you’re feeling lonely when you’re with someone else. Being in a relationship doesn’t always take away loneliness. In fact, it sometimes causes it. Being lonely is not the same as being alone – it’s a feeling where you want to be connected with someone, but someone isn’t available to connect with. Of course, it could be that the person isn’t physically present, but it could also be that someone isn’t emotionally present. Here are the signs you’re in a lonely relationship.
1. Your partner has trouble being affectionate with you.
Part of the reason relationships is so great is the physical touch aspect. There’s nothing quite as comforting as a cuddle with your significant other when you’ve had a bad day, and if you feel like your partner is reluctant to give you one, it’s no surprise that you’ll start to feel lonely.
2. You feel like your partner judges you.
You won’t want to be open and honest with someone who is judgmental – and it’s definitely not something that should be coming from your partner. If his attitude towards you is preventing you from sharing your thoughts and ideas with him, the relationship isn’t what it should be.
3. You can’t connect because one or both of you are overworked and overwhelmed.
You want to catch up with your partner over a leisurely dinner and a glass of wine in the evening, but he’s been having such a rough time at work that he’s in no mood to open up. He’d rather be alone when he’s feeling stressed than talk to you about his feelings.
4. Your partner shuts down during arguments.
When you argue – and all couples do – you want to talk it out and reach a point where both of you forgive and forget. But, during arguments, instead of talking through them, he totally shuts down. You don’t feel like anything is ever truly worked through.
5. Your partner has stopped talking to you.
Sure, some people are the strong and silent types, but if you and your partner barely ever have proper conversations, there’s a problem. If you feel like you have nobody to talk to, you may as well be alone.
6. You aren’t being your true self with him.
Not being yourself can make any relationship a lonely experience. You shouldn’t change just because you think someone else won’t accept you. And, if he’s making you feel that way, you probably shouldn’t have been with him in the first place.
7. You’re protecting yourself from the hurt of a previous relationship.
Maybe your loneliness has nothing to do with him – maybe it’s got to do with you. If you’ve previously had bad relationship experiences, it’s almost a given that you’d be somewhat guarded. You may feel like you can’t be real with your partner even though he’s done nothing to make you feel that way.